TR # 22 - Missing

The exact date of my return to Italy must be a secret for most of my friends waiting for me, but now it's useless to deny that the date is near or perhaps even imminent or maybe already gone. It's therefore time to take stock of and to count the things I will miss and those that I will instead be happy to leave behind.

• Let's talk about food. I'll be happy to have back the sense of taste, the tasty vegetables, juicy fruit, dense olive oil, pasta that doesn't overcook. I won't miss the cinnamon either. I think that in Canada it's second only to maple syrup, cinnamon I mean, and I don't even like it! I won't miss the Alfredo pasta and will happily find cream again, leaving the sour cream to its fate. Therefore I won't miss the Italian restaurants, where the value for money is unacceptable and that with their authentic-ish names serve dishes that throw us authentic peninsularians into despair. But I must admit: I will miss the international restaurants and food, the wide selection of quesadillas and perogies, and the cafés. Ok let's just say it, my struggle for the introduction of Starbucks in Italy goes on. But I even found better and certainly cheaper places, from Tim Horton's to Second Cup and drinks for every taste. And for God's sake, when will we decide to serve cheesecakes, cupcakes and donuts even in the Italian pastry shops???!! Really, we have only to gain and nothing to lose. In calories, at least.
• I will miss the seasons. Because here better than anywhere else we realize the transition from one season to another, with the sudden temperature variations, while the vivid colors as in a picture hit you with violence, and the light. The light is dazzling, no matter if it's sunny or not. The snow reflects the light, and so the lake, parks, the green islands which in autumn change in a thousand shades. I will miss the sunsets and sunrises over the lake, this oasis of peace where you almost don't hear the rest of the city with its hustle and bustle.
• The weather. I'll miss it a little bit, a little I won't. It's always extreme, in the heat as well as in the cold, but it toughens your body to withstand the unusual. And most of all it's dry, my hair and my bones are thankful! I will miss the snow, because I've never lived in the midst of so much snow, I've never played so much and I became a little girl again. And I'll miss the ice-skating rinks on every corner (even in the houses' gardens!), Not because I like to skate -I'd rather watch others skate- but yes, it's soooo American!
• The distances. I'll miss them sometimes, sometimes not. Now I'm used to travel at least half an hour for a coffee... that's a moment that I was missing for so long, the commuting one, where I can relax, watch other people and listen to music. But sometimes it's annoying, I'll be happy to walk anywhere and get anywhere in ten minutes. Windows' screens are also in the middle, I'll miss them a little and a little not. Here they are fixed, they can't be opened, which is great for insects in the summer and the rest of the time for squirrels and raccoons, but knowing that I can open the window and look out -yes, I need that!
• Speaking of distances, I won't miss the TTC, the local transport company. Forget everything I had said earlier: it costs an arm and a leg, it's unreliable and inadequate, it keeps you waiting in freezing temperatures for tens of minutes, the drivers lack any common sense... a disaster! Just as much as I won't miss the taxes. Someone please explain to me why I have to add 13% to any advertised price. But WHAT THE DUCK, if I have $10 in my pocket, do I have to do maths with my cell phone to see if I can buy a packet of crisps?! I won't miss the hectic workaholic lifestyle, the bureaucracy that lacks common sense (at least in Europe we have that, even if we're slow), the super expensive healthcare for non-citizens, and here again, with peaks of insensitivity and meaningless bureaucracy that Europe would not even consider.
• I will miss Tutorino. And here I start naming names, which I never do, because sometimes you've just got to. This company, founded out of sheer passion for Italy, has managed to do in Toronto far more than the Italian institutions ever strove to. It gave people like me the opportunity to work once you got here, which is precisely what, in my case, no one else did. The Italian consulate is completely useless, the IIC, the Chamber of Commerce and the Canadian Courier, when they deign to answer, it's almost always to offer unpaid internships. Not to mention Dante Alighieri, to which they keep cutting funds. And ironically, there are requests for Italian, and many too. It's about time to wake up! Nor will I miss the renowned UofT, the University of Toronto that offers Italian courses with teaching methods from the 20's... better for us, we welcome their students for private lessons. I won't miss the Italian community: where if you know someone, you can join them, if not... we're always the same.
• I won't miss the Torontonians, because as I explained to some people, it's not just the weather that is cold. People here don't speak, don't approach each other, no physical contact at all! In the subway everybody's bent on their book / Ipad / Ipod / blackberry and nobody chats. But I will miss some Canadians. Because there are some people similar to the "fearful mimosa", the plant in Pa's garden that would close its leaves if touched: if you get close to them, they close themselves, but if you give them time you'll find out that they are extraordinary people and unimaginably generous too. And I will miss the friends I've met here and that have been there for me... as any other traveler, I will mark their names on a map in my heart and keep in touch for a long time. I won't miss the hypocrisy of Canada instead, the much-bragged-about tolerance covering the barely concealed racism of the man on the street, the intolerance and religious fanaticism (both religious and atheist, to say the truth) of many Canadians, who generally have a high opinion of themselves and their homeland.
• Finally, I will miss the CN Tower. As it already happened for the London Eye, I will look out the window, puzzled, in search of the tower's slender figure in the distance, with its colors. I will miss it because it witnessed of all my experiences here, since the day I saw it in a taxi in the rain, the very first day, through tears and laughter, friendships and everything else. I take away with me a bigger bag than when I left, and not only because of the wool clothes to bring back, but because I'm a different person, grown up, knowing that I'm ready to write the next page. Perhaps from a window overlooking the London Eye.

"The circle is closed, the wheel turns, nothing else's there." Goodbye Canada.